A little ceramic painting…

A corsage…

7 lb of Chocolate Cake…

And what is a Mother’s Day without a little Texas Hold’em to keep mom happy…

A well rounded weekend.

I have been known to have weird dreams. No mom, I am not pregnant. When I was little I had a recurring dream of being stuck in the Wizard of Oz and it wasn’t a happy Oz. For some reason I was in a coffin and I couldn’t get out. Clicking my heels didn’t work. That is probably why I have an uneasiness towards coffins.

I also had a dream that my aunt died. We were at a house for the memorial service and for some reason her dead body was lying on a bed in one of the bedrooms. The weirdest part is she was also hovering around the house, from about her knees up, talking to people. Just so you know, my aunt is well and alive. When I told her about my dream she didn’t find it very amusing. (Note to self: Keep weird dreams of hovering dead aunts to yourself.)  Come to think of it, I had this dream more than once as well.

I know what you are thinking. I dream about death too much. Its not true. Last night I had a dream I was on Surviver and I made it to the final 2. We were on some stage like at the end when they get everyone together to read the final vote. Jeff Probst was about to read the votes when he said that they were going to do it differently this time. The 2 finalists had to compete in challenges and whoever won the most would win the million dollars. In the crowd were my family and a whole bunch of people from my past. I don’t remember what the first 2 challenges were, but I do remember that I won both of them. I was about to compete in the the 3rd challenge, which I knew would be a piece of cake, when I woke up. I was a little bummed. I wanted to know how it ended. I’m sure I won the 3rd challenge and got the million dollars. Its my dream. I can end it however I want.

1. Wake up. (check)

2. Get ready for the day. (check)

3. Eat breakfast. (check)

4. Pick up tapes. (check)

5. Brother calls to ask if I want to go for a motorcycle ride to pick up his car. (check check check!!)

I love motorcycle rides!! Do not love bugs hitting my face at high speeds on I-5, but totally worth it!!

Per his request, I put on my baking hat this afternoon to bring joy to the man in my life. Now if only I could figure out what to do for Jonathan. LOL! I crack myself up. I still haven’t mastered bread making. As you can see the bottom is a bit brown. It doesn’t taste burnt though. (I snuck a few slices already!)

When Jonathan and I were first dating, I made him some ginger snaps. He took a bite of one and told me that I needed more practice. I was in shock. My dad had always loved my ginger snaps and would eat them up within a few days. How dare this “boy” tell me I needed more practice. Come to find out there was nothing wrong with my cookies. That was just his way of tricking me into making more for him. Some trick. I have now come to expect that response with anything I make for him. No harm. Anything to keep the man happy, right?

I don’t know why, but I’ve had a horrible headache almost every day this past week which has impaired my ability to blog at all.  It is all I can do to complete my work for the day and seem semi-functional for when Jonathan comes home.  He usually finds me in bed clinging for dear life to the Advil bottle or trying to drown myself in a bathtub full of scalding hot water.  I just can’t seem to figure it out.  I don’t think that it’s withdrawal from sugar or caffeine because I have tried stuffing my face with enough of both of those, before or after my headache, to render myself unconscious and send my blood sugar levels right off the charts into diabetic territory.  It might be due to my near blindness and the fact that I sit in front of the computer all day or my neck might be out.  Whatever it is, it has to stop or I might just lie in the middle of the road and wait for someone to put an end to my misery.  Any takers?

It’s the middle of April for cripes sake!

Over the last couple of weeks when I have had some free time, I have been doing a marathon of my absolute favorite TV show. (Don’t ask which one because I won’t tell you. It’s my SMB - Secret Married Behavior.) It truly is my favorite. It is everything that I am not and never will be, but deep down inside wish a part of me could be. I just finished the last few episodes today. It made me cry. It always does. It makes me wish I had what they have. Friendship. Deep true honest friendship that lasts forever. Don’t get me wrong. I have friends. But nothing like what they have. I’ve often wondered if it is something about me that has left me feeling like I am just a pit stop for the girlfriends in my life because they seem to come and go, but no one stays forever.

Growing up I had the best friend thing with a girl who lived a couple houses down the street from me. Despite our age difference, we were kindred spirits…bosum buddies. We did everything together. We were always at each others houses playing until the sun went down and as soon as it came back up again. We created little personal mailboxes that we kept outside our window that we would leave letters or gifts in. Always had sleepovers. We even accepted Christ together at VBS. One day she came over and said she was moving away. It broke my heart. Who would I have to tell my secrets to or who would listen to me and not make fun of my stupid quirks the way she did? We kept in touch by snail mail and would occasionally see each other, but it wasn’t the same. Her senior year in high school was a little difficult for her and so she came to live with us. It was like we were never apart. We were back to our old selves. Then it happened. A boy came into the picture. All of a sudden our friendship boat was rocked again. Then a second wave hit. She was moving out. My heart was broken again. This time it would really sting. Not only was she moving out but I was being replaced by a boy. I was happy for her, but it still hurt. Our lives were going in different directions and we were growing apart. We were never the same after that. It’s been almost a year since I have talked to her and before that, 5 years.

I have never again had a relationship like that with another girl. It seems as though friendships are more surface. We all live different and busy lives. Some single, some not. Some without kids and some with. Some live close, and others far away. I don’t mean for this to be a pity party because I so do cherish all the girlfriends in my life and wouldn’t trade them for anything. But there just has not been that one where the relationship runs so deep that nothing could tear us apart. I long for that. Maybe I have closed myself off to that because of the past. Who knows. I still keep plotting on though. Who knows who is just around the corner.

Spring not only brings beautiful flowers, but brilliant colored birds…and more moss than I can handle. I spotted this Blue Jay from my kitchen window today. It reminded me of when I was a child. We had a big window in our living room. I loved to take my moms bird book, lean over the back of the recliner, and gaze out the window into our tree in hopes of catching a glimpse of a pretty bird.

Isn’t funny how we can see or smell something and all of a sudden we are thrown back in time to a memory that we have long forgotten? Every now and then they are uncomfortable memories that we didn’t stuff back far enough into the recesses of our mind, but usually they are wonderful memories that we wish would pop out more often.

Every now and then Jonathan will leave me a random note somewhere for me to find when I wake up in the morning. It always brings a smile to my face. They usually say things like “I love you” or “Glad you’re my wife” and on occasion a list of things he is asking me to do for him during the day or a list of things he needs from the grocery store. I had to laught this morning when I found an unexpected note from him in the kitchen.